She Dreams in Disney
by tbossjenn
Summary: A strange encounter with Shishi Gami, or maybe San ate too many mushrooms


She Dreams in Disney

by 

tbossjenn

(I don't own Princess Mononoke, yadda yadda yadda)

"Shishi Gami, please! You must do something to save the forest!" San stood on the opposite shore of the pool, addressing the spirit that gazed clamly back from his sacred island. To her surprise, the spirit answered her.

"Silly girl, I healed your boy and now you are still not satisfied. I have no interest in the affairs of mortal beings."

"You should care, you ingrate! Moro and the other gods are killing themselves for you!" San couldn't believe she was speaking this way to a creature that could take her life just as easily as he could breathe. "Besides," she continued, "You're mortal, and the humans want to destroy you!"

Shishi Gami sighed and said, "Very well, girl. I will help. But you may not like it."

"Thank you, Shishi Gami!" San cried, bowing before him. "Anything will be better than this!"

"Just remember that this is _your_ doing," the spirit warned. His body began to glow, then it radiated a bright light that knocked San unconscious.

* * *

Princess San of Iron Town awoke in her poster bed with a delicate sigh. It was another beautiful day, and she felt so wonderful that she began to sing: "Little Iron Town,/ It's a quiet village./ Everyday, like the one before ..." She abruptly stopped. _I don't sing! Do I? _she thought. However, her confusion was quickly forgotten as she pondered over which ribbons she should wear in her long blonde hair that day. 

Upon her arrival at the breakfast table, her father King Gonza yelled, "San! What's this I hear about you going into the Forbidden Forest again?!"

"Nothing ... happened," she said, glaring at her friend Kouroku. He had obviously told on her for he was now giving her a sheepish look.

"So help me, San, I am going to get through to you. And if _this_ is the only way, _**so be it**_!"

"What do you mean?"

"This is Lady Eboshi," the king replied, indicating a woman dressed entirely in black and purple. "I have hired her to wipe out the forest and kill all the animals, especially that Shishi Gami. _That'll_ teach you to be an obedient daughter." 

San could instantly tell that the darned woman was evil, but her father seemed to be oblivious to this. "But Dad, she's evil!"

"Don't be silly, pumkin'! She's a beautiful woman!" King Gonza winked at Eboshi.

Eboshi smiled devilishly and replied, "Thank you, Your Majesty. And don't forget, we pick out the wedding invitations this afternoon."

"What is she talking about?" San asked.

"Oh, I promised to marry her if she destroys the forest for me," Gonza casually answered. "Iron Town will have a new queen, and you'll have a new stepmother! Now if you ladies will excuse me, I have to go check out the iron. I _do_ own an _extremely_ valuable business, you know; one that could be created only by a man. Why, I wouldn't be surprised if someone tried to steal it from me, ha ha!"

As soon as Gonza left, Eboshi said, "You're a very pretty girl, San. Here, eat this apple."

San didn't trust the darned woman, but the apple looked harmless so she accepted it and took a bite. Just before she fell unconscious, her mind screamed: _Dope!_

Because some hunter, guard, or Kodama didn't have the heart to kill the beautiful and innocent princess, San eventually woke up in the forest. Her first thought was: _This is wrong, this is all horribly wrong_. But why would she think such a thing? She was a lovely and vapid princess, her father was an overbearing king, and they were being threatened by a thoroughly evil woman. Oh yeah, and the forest was in trouble, too. Why, the only thing missing was ...

"Hel_-lo_, there." San looked up and saw an incredibly handsome prince sitting astride a magnificent white stallion. The prince wore shining armor, and his smile was as equally sparkley. "I am Ashitaka," he said, "Prince of the Great Emishi Kingdom in the east. I have travelled far, but never in all my wandering have I seen a maiden so beautiful. I love you!"

"I am San, Princess of Iron Town, and I love you too!" San cried. Ashitaka pulled her upon his steed and they passionately kissed. _This isn't right either_, San thought. But how could it be wrong? She had just met the man of her dreams, the _perfect_ man, and they were in love. "Ashitaka, an evil gold-digging woman is going to destroy this forest and marry my father. You must stop her!"

"Yes, you must save us, mighty prince!" The humans turned and saw a large wolf; along with boars, apes, rabbits, mice, and more wolves. The animals looked very scared and sad. "My name is Moro," the large wolf continued, "And we are helpless, meek, innocent animals who only wish to be left in peace. Please help us, you are our only hope!" The other animals murmured their agreement.

"Of course I'll help you!" the prince cheerfully answered. "It is my sworn duty to protect innocent victims. It's a good thing I just happened to be riding through this forest today." He turned to San and said, "When I'm done, we'll be married and we'll live in a shining castle!"

San giggled and blushed.

Prince Ashitaka saved the day by dropping Eboshi off a cliff. Or maybe she turned into a giant monster and Ashitaka finished her off with his magic sword. Then again, he might have just locked her up in the dungeon and let the proper authorities deal with her. The important thing is that the forest was saved, Ashitaka and San were married, and they all lived happily ever ...

"Stop!" San cried. "This _is_ wrong! We're not like this! Ashitaka's not a knight in shining armor, Gonza's not my father, the animals aren't helpless, and _I'm not blonde_!" 

"But it is such a very pretty hair color." The scene melted away, and San found that she was in the clearing beside the pool. Shishi Gami stood before her. "This is what you wanted, isn't it? A way for the conflict to be settled without a great deal of bloodshed."

"I did not ask you to make everything and everyone so shallow and petty!"

"Easy solutions can only come about when the problem itself is simple. In this fantasy I conjured, I made the Eboshi woman the problem. Once she was eliminated, the problem was solved."

"Why can't you just eliminate the real one?!" San demanded.

"Because she is not the real problem; she has simply become the focus of your hatred. The problems of the real world are not simple, and so there are no easy solutions. But what was it that you didn't like about the fantasy? There was a clear line drawn between good and evil, and you seemed to be happy."

"I didn't like how the animals were helpless; and I don't think they would like it, either. Also..." she bit her lip. "I could never be happy with the way in which you had Ashitaka and I fall in love. What we have now ... I mean, whatever it is that we share, it means a great deal more than that fantasy marriage ever could."

"A very wise answer," Shishi Gami replied. "Perhaps you are not so silly after all. Let me have another try, child. Perhaps this fantasy will be more to your liking." 

Once again, his body glowed and gave off a bright light, but this time San was not knocked unconscious. She looked around and then said, "Nothing seems to be different." 

Suddenly there was a rustling, and Lady Eboshi sprung from the bushes with her hunting party. "Watch as I show you how to kill a god!" she cried. Then Eboshi dropped her rifle and squealed, "Oh, how _cuuuuuuuuute_!"

Surprised, San turned around and saw that Shishi Gami had shrunken into an adorable, miniaturized version of himself. He had become a baby Shishi Gami. Eboshi rushed forward and took the baby Forest Spirit in her arms and began to pet and coddle him. Collective "aaaaawwwwwws" arose from the hunting party as Baby Moro, Baby Okkoto, and Baby Yakkul emerged playfully from the undergrowth. Baby apes played in the trees, and San realized that all the forest animals had turned into baby animals. 

A baby bunny, skunk, and fawn frolicked past, and San said, "I know I said I wanted the forest to be saved without violence, but this is just _way _too sickeningly cute." 

Just then, three kids and a yellow rodent showed up. The boy wearing the baseball cap said, "All right! A caterpie! I'm gonna catch it! Pikachu, I choose you!"

Horrified, San screamed, "AAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH! NOOOOOOOOOOO! Make it stop, Shishi Gami, make it stop!"

The fantasy quickly melted away, and Shishi Gami urgently said, "It's all right now, San. It's gone."

"_What was that_?!"

"No one can resist cute baby animals, and I was right. I just didn't anticipate your reaction."

"I understand now what you're trying to tell me. I realize there are no easy answers and that there is nothing you can do for the forest. Nothing _sane_, anyway. Please return me to my reality, Shishi Gami," San said. "I am ready to face it now."

"Very well, San," the spirit said. But then he sighed and added, "But the cute stuffed animals would have brought us a fortune in merchandising alone."

"What?" San asked, mystified.

"Nothing. Are you _sure_ you don't want to be a blonde?"

"Yes!"

For a final time, the spirit radiated light and thus returned San back to reality. She picked herself up and wondered how she had come to fall asleep beside the pool, then she went off in search of her mother. Hidden from view, Shishi Gami smiled. San would not remember the time she spent with the spirit, but nonetheless she had left with a precious gift: the realization that she shared a special love with the boy Ashitaka.

the end


End file.
